Liverpool 1 Shrewsbury Town 0: The Match Ratings

I’LL be trustworthy right here, lads. I pretty much presumed that I’d be getting a winter break like the rest of the first teamers.

Fucking legs are drained, the mind is certainly fatigued. Good little couple of weeks off without the distractions of the cup, relaxation and recuperate, come again all guns blazing every week on Saturday. Fucking left all of it out there final week on this fucking foundation.

The problem is, though, that the TAW bigwigs didn’t see it the same approach. I realised with abar half an hour gone that I hadn’t let them know I couldn’t do the scores tonight and there they are, sending the boys round to get some fucking words off me.

Cracking the fucking whip they have been. Tried to elucidate however they weren’t fucking . Phrases, dickhead. However lads, my hen’s away, I spent the first half pretty much grafting. Scores, dickhead. Alright then, however here's what I was as much as first half an hour:

a) making me lad some toast: 8/10. That well-fired loaf from the Sainsbury’s, nicely achieved, a great deal of butter, cherry jam.

b) watching Captain Underpants: 9/10. Belter, the one where they make the animals sensible but they take over the world in order that they have to go into the longer term.

c) Studying him a chapter of his guide, my lad that's, not Captain Underpants. Tra la laaa. Anyway: 6/10. The beast of Buckingham Palace, not his greatest work, if we’re trustworthy with ourselves. Also, my reading performance is sub commonplace, if I’m trustworthy. My chook does all the totally different voices and that. Once I learn it all of the characters are baldy Scouse men.

d) Cooking myself some tea. Bubble and squeak: 9/10. Was absolutely flames, higher than the roast.

That's an unreal performance, you realize. This membership, from prime to backside at the minute = perfection. Think about The Blues there, though. Hahaha, VAR objective disallowed, absolute Sandy Brown of an own objective. Spawny Rednose cunts aren’t we, aye?

The Keepeher: eight

Unlucky for his or her VAR objective because the save is fairly good. Went a bit berserk after that although and went for a stroll out of his field right after. The catch in stoppage time when it was floating in had disaster written throughout it. Takes it no hassle. Properly in.

Williams: 9

The standout participant on the pitch for the mini Reds. Was unfortunate to not score to cap that pretty move firstly of the second half. Couple of respectable attempts after that and a couple of shit ones, by the best way.

Seems to be like he belongs in the first workforce, which is some going seen as though they're one of the best in the business. In any fucking business, by the best way. Present enterprise, the lot.

Get them on The Royal Variety efficiency. Reckon Divock might do 15 minutes as a magician, no hassle. Minimize Degsi in half with that physique guillotine factor. Fuck off putting him again collectively. Hahaha. Solely messing, Massive Canine.

Does rather well for the aim, although that poor lad, God bless him. Shady, that.

Hoever: eight

Melia text me earlier than, stated his brother had simply textual content him. Was listening to the sport on 5live or something, Rob Inexperienced was commentating on it and stated that one of the players had received caught in nostril man land.

Hahahahaha.

Nose man. An alternate universe the place there are simply large massive nose fellas bouncing round, with ft and a hat on. Hahahaha. Trustworthy to god, I haven’t stopped laughing for about an hour. Nostril man land.

Anyway, did Hoever get caught in Nostril Man land? Fuck is aware of, but when he did he managed to discover a means out. He played right here tonight. Did properly. Nose man land. Fucking hell.

Sep Van De Burgh: eight

Made up for him actually, as he has obtained a little bit of a legging off everyone for a few performances, however confirmed real promise right here. Gained his battles, no one really run away from him, even that ming with the hair who made a present of the Lov and Joelly last week.

Lewis: 8

Did properly once more, good in the deal with, good on the ball. Like all of them actually, did themselves proud.

Cain: 8

Reckon his auld fella known as Adam and is an enormous Springsteen fan there, you understand. Soz. I assumed he was really good. Stored the ball and fucking battled all night time.

The Chirifella: 8

GIbbo reckons he has the mental property rights to The Chirifella identify there, you already know. I’m unsure, you understand. I feel I was the first to put in writing it down, you already know. Can be an actual shame if he obtained off in the summer, seen as if he's one of the best centre mid in fucking Europe.

Clarkson: 8

Like his midfield mates, was fairly spectacular. Great pressing, closing, composure on the ball.

Elliott: 9

Was made up he overhit that one in the long run, because it unintentionally hit his hand and would have been a VAR diddle. That little scoop left-foot dink of a move he performs is beautiful to observe. Uses the ball so properly.

Jones: 9

Like Williams, appears destined for the first staff, pretty fucking quickly. So much swagger and perception on the ball, but in addition a continuing menace, whereas preserving it the place essential. Absolute Scouser.

Millar: eight

Labored his absolute bollocks off, at occasions on his personal, operating channels, closing down all night time long. Slightly bit light-weight however that’s as a result of he's nonetheless fucking rising, lad.

SUBS

Some come on. One among them, Hardy, was one in every of them youngsters in class who was shaving in second yr. Used it rather well when he come on.

Some more come on.

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